#76 The Life-Changing Magic of Self Forgiveness w/ Dean Powell
“Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough.” - Alain de Botton
Think about the person you were last year. 5 years ago. 10 years ago.
What were you like?
Do you ever look back to a moment in time when you did something so shameful that it still stings to this day?
There were things I did that were outright obnoxious, selfish and even cruel and I still cringe thinking about them.
But it’s really no use dwelling on stuff you would have done differently.
Back then, your decision making and emotional capacity were limited to where you were in life. You did the best you could. And like the quote above says, “if you’re not embarrassed, you’re not growing”.
No matter what you’ve done, how bad you think you acted, you deserve grace and self forgiveness.
You deserve to feel worthy of love and belonging.
We as human beings have the ability to learn from our mistakes, evolve and grow. So let’s celebrate that!
Carrying the weight of shame and self loathing doesn’t serve anyone.
It only limits your capacity to love yourself and other people.
In my interview with Dean Powell, a mentor who helps men stand up unapologetically in their power, he shares his story of addiction, infidelity and how he was able to transform his life in a completely new way.
He believes that everyone deserves a second chance, no matter what they’ve done.
If there’s something you need to forgive yourself for, remember the four R’s of self-forgiveness:
Responsibility - by accepting responsibility and taking ownership of your actions you can start to practice self-compassion.
Remorse - expressing remorse and guilt for your mistakes is healthy (just as long as you don’t overdo it). And it acts as a catalyst for change.
Restoration - giving a proper apology to those involved (including yourself) can repair the relationship and give space for you to move forward.
Renewal - instead of dwelling on your past mistakes, learn how you would do it differently in the future and commit to being the person you want to be.
Hope these help.