3 Barriers to a Great Life (and How to Overcome Them)
Who doesn’t want a boatload of money, a rockin bod and someone to look at them like Ryan Gosling does in the movie The Notebook?
I know I wouldn’t complain.
For a lot of us, this is a depiction of what a great life would look like.
But there are many people who succeed at having a “great” life that looks similar to this and yet they don’t feel successful.
What gives?
External pleasures are awesome but they are fleeting. And while they’re enjoyable, there is more to a great life than having washboard abs.
For a life to be considered great, fulfillment needs to be an inside-out job.
Living a great life goes deeper than what you can find on Instagram.
Getting to great requires effort and overcoming challenging obstacles.
Barrier #1 - A Fixed Mindset
Sounds like this:
“I’ve always been this way”
Seeing a big fat red “C” marked on the top of my English paper was an unexpected blow to my ego and inner-perfectionist (I had never gotten a C in anything before!). I prided myself as being a high achiever: I got straight A’s, I was the class president and had enrolled in every extracurricular activity I could join: choir, drama, Polynesian dancing, cheerleading, you name it.
And you can imagine my surprise when I got my second paper back - in the same red marker it displayed a “C minus”!
Gasp.
No...it couldn’t have been that I simply had piled too much on my plate and wasn’t able to keep my grades up. (Of course not).
Instead, I had decided, “I’m just not a good writer.”
This story plagued me for decades. I even changed my college major because I believed I couldn’t deal with the amount of writing it would have required of me to graduate.
It wasn’t until the pandemic that hit this past March when I wrote, “In Times of Crisis, It’s not What You Do it’s Why You Do it”, that I realized it was a totally made up story.
Publishing that blog gave me the validation that I actually could write. And not only that, I really enjoyed writing.
When we believe false stories about ourselves it can hold us back from living a great life. When we admit to “always being a certain way”, we’re accepting a limiting belief that might keep us from growing into our full potential.
Coaching Tip:
Write down a list of all the limiting beliefs and stories that are keeping you small.
For each one, ask yourself, “Is this really true?”
What would the opposite of each story be and how can you find truth and supporting evidence in your new story?
Barrier #2 - A Good Life
Sounds like this:
“I’m pretty comfortable with where I’m at. I’d like to make a change, but I don’t really need to.”
You’re comfortable, but you might not be content. There are things you wish to change, but the thought of putting your life through a remodel right now feels like a lot of work. Have you ever felt this way before?
I know all about this. I’ve stayed in jobs and relationships way past their expiration date - and shit gets sour real quick.
There are many compelling reasons to stay in the status quo. And the thought of jumping into an uncertain future is super scary. I get it.
But there comes a point when staying in a situation too long becomes more of a risk than taking that courageous first step forward.
Let me give you more perspective on this:
If you’re already checked out at work, your employer could notice and you might lose your job anyway.
If you’re settling for less in your relationship, it can breed negativity and inevitably cause a breakup.
Sticking around too long could force you into the exact same place: change. The only difference is that if you stay past your due date, you could be at risk for burning bridges.
Coaching Tip:
Think about an area of your life where you might be settling.
On a scale from 1-10, rate how happy or satisfied you are with this part of your life.
Think about what a perfect 10 would look like and journal about it (write in the present tense, as if it is already happening today).
Read it everyday - once in the morning and once in the evening if you can. You might be surprised at how this simple task can positively impact your life. (This is the exact exercise that helped me become a life coach and manifest my dream life in Bali. And it works.)
Barrier #3 - A Lack of Purpose
What it sounds like:
“I want more out of life, I’m just not sure what it is yet or how to make it happen.”
If you’re feeling this way, you’re not alone. We were born into a one-size-fits-all system: go to school, get a job, get married, maybe have some kids and work for a few decades until you retire. It’s only after that where you actually have the freedom to do whatever you want. We’re programmed to fit ourselves into this template.
It works for some lucky people but leaves everyone else out.
When I discovered that I didn’t fit in with this lifestyle, I was 10 years deep in my tech career in San Francisco and had spent 10’s of thousands of dollars to get there. I knew I didn’t want to continue down that career path but I also had no idea what to do next.
I was afraid that there wasn’t anything out there that could give me the fulfillment that I was seeking, and that it was also too late to try something new.
The truth is:
It’s never too late to begin
The opportunities are endless
Did you know that there are people who literally get paid to watch paint dry, sniff paper towels and name nail polish?
If these are legit career opportunities, I’m certain you’ll be able to create anything in your life that will bring you more purpose and satisfaction.
Anything is possible.
Coaching tip:
Sign up for my free workshop series - Find Your Calling in 5 Days. I’ll be running it live later this month and will share tips and offer resources to help you live a more purposeful life. Reserve your spot here.
“Obstacles are put in your way to see if what you want is really worth fighting for.” - Unknown
If you’ve got a calling to make even the slightest shift towards your great life, answer it. The worst thing that can happen is you might end up exactly where you are today. Which means, the worst is already happening.
What would the best case scenario look like?
Share your thoughts in the comments section below!
Like the coaching tips in this blog post?
I put together a FREE PDF workbook that you can download right away and start working towards a great life. You can download it here.
Enjoy, and let me know how it goes!