How to Define Your Life Through Peak Experiences
Each of us have experienced defining moments in our lives. These can take place over a long period of time or they can happen in a split second. Either way, reflecting on these events can reveal hidden information about ourselves that can offer positive benefits for years to come.
In this article, I’ll share with you a life changing moment that lasted only a few seconds and how it still impacts my life by bringing insight, clarity and motivation to help me reach my biggest goals.
My peak experience takes place in 2016 on my first big surf trip. I’m standing on a remote beach on the rural island of Sumbawa, squinting out at a wave a few hundred meters from shore. This is the place where I collected a variety of scrapes and bruises all over my body from wiping out on waves all week.
Sumbawa, 2016
I was the living example of what Einstein defined as insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. In this case, it was attempting to surf this wave everyday, failing to catch even just one, and hoping with repetition it would result in a positive outcome - catching a damn wave.
Today might be that day, I thought. I take a deep breath and proceed towards the shoreline; walking lightly, one foot after another, to avoid piercing the bottoms of my feet with the sharp coral below. As soon as I am hip-deep in the ocean, I jump on my board and feel the rough wax against my bare skinned belly, saddling me in. I paddle gently at first, grazing the water with my fingers tightly joined.
As the momentum builds I dig deeper into the water, scooping my hands down and then back, accelerating with every paddle. I arrive at the line up, where all the surfers wait their turn for oncoming waves to ride. To greet each other we each nod and smile (and also secretly size each other up as competition).
I stop to take a rest and sit on my board, gazing at the beautiful scenery around me. Gorgeous shades of purple and yellow pop up from the coral reef submerged under the shimmering turquoise water. The sand on the beach where I had paddled from is a pale yellow, lined with shaggy palm trees swaying with the rhythm of the wind. Today is special and I can feel it.
At this moment, I realize I’d floated away from the safe zone and into the impact zone - where the heavy hitting waves crash the hardest. And before I know it, a massive wave is coming in hot.
I have two choices:
Bail - jump off my board and definitely wipe out
Just go for it and hope for the best (and likely wipe out)
My entire body tingles from the toes up and I’m filled to the brim with nervous energy. My eyes expand as the approaching wave grows taller and darker as it begins to curl over me.
In this crucial moment I position myself: I point my surfboard towards the beach, lay flat with my core tight, look left and look right - no one’s nearby which means the wave is all mine.
I paddle with all my might and I close my eyes. Time slows down and I get this familiar feeling of being propelled forward. I hold my breath as I drop in and everything becomes silent. Out of instinct (and hours of practice), I push down hard with my palms on my board and mount my feet against the waxy surface.
I am riding the biggest wave of my life.
Water is spraying behind me as if it’s raining sideways. I finally open my eyes and notice a tremendous 10ft wall colored in dark blue and green. I’m entranced, mouth wide open, hands reaching forward. This image becomes seared into my memory.
Only seconds have passed but it seems like so much longer than that. The wall dissolves back into the vastness of the ocean and I fall backwards, arms outstretched trusting the water to catch me.
My hearing returns and I can make out the sounds of hooting and hollering of everyone in the lineup. They’ve witnessed my wipeouts all week long and are celebrating my best wave ever with me.
At that moment, I’m beaming brighter than the sun, with the biggest smile on my face.
Reflecting on our peak experiences can teach us so much about ourselves by bringing to light what our values are and what’s most important. It can also teach us how to harness the positive energy from these events and use them to build our ideal life.
From this peak experience I’ve affirmed that my core values are: hard work, adventure, growth, nature and community. When I’m living my life aligned with these values, I know that I’m on the right path. And when I fall off track, I can use this experience as a compass to guide me and remind myself that I might not get to ride life’s waves everyday. And that’s ok. We have winning seasons and we have losing seasons, that’s just how it goes. It also serves as a positivity boost - if I’m ever in one of those low moods, imagining myself on that magic wave does the trick every time.
Think back to an experience when you felt really alive. When time stood still and you felt deeply present.
Where were you?
Who was there?
What were you doing?
What is it about this event that sticks out to you?