In times of crisis, it’s not what you do...it’s why you do it

JUST BREATHE

It was like an elephant had suddenly sat on my chest. Everything in the room faded into a dull shade of orange. My hearing had become muffled and I could barely catch my breath. All throughout my limbs, fingers and toes felt like cactus prickles, signaling to me that something was not ok.

A nightmare.

Panic attacks used to dominate my life. To me, they were short but intense periods of internal crisis. Whenever they would arise, I’d have to stop whatever I was doing and find a safe place - a couch, a sidewalk or even a patch of grass just to catch my breath before returning back to the normal world. There was no way that I could plan around these events because they seemed to come out of nowhere and at random. The only solution to this internal crisis would be to just breathe.

A CRISIS INCEPTION

This is how the Covid-19 pandemic is affecting our world today. We’re each dealing with this global crisis differently. It’s hard not to compare ourselves to the super-humans who are improving their lives by learning new skills, starting businesses and getting all buff and stuff. The rest of us are just trying to keep it together. But when soothing ourselves with pleasures like Netflix (bless them), ice cream and internet memes start to feel stale, we begin to question our coping strategies. Am I doing this quarantine thing properly?

Going through this crisis is tough enough without the anxiety of wondering whether or not we’re doing it right. A great way to guide our daily decision making could be to ask ourselves this one question:

“Are my choices comforting and nourishing my spirit, or are they temporary reprieves from vulnerability and difficult emotions ultimately diminishing my spirit?” - Brene Brown

You don’t have to be fluent in a new language or drop down a dress size. You also don’t have to feel bad about indulging in life’s plethora of pleasures. It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it.

2020 was supposed to be a big year. And what better year to get our shit together than one that symbolizes clarity and perfect vision. Also it’s the start of a brand new decade. But instead of planning for a successful year ahead, we’re now worried about our safety, anxious about our well-being and fearful of losing our jobs. A crisis inception.

THE QUICKEST SOLUTION

I’ve been laid off twice.

The first time was during the recession back in 2008, and it flung me into a quarter-life crisis in the middle of a national crisis.

I was in shock. The world as I knew it had ended and I felt completely lost.

What am I going to do?

How am I going to support myself?

Why is this happening?

Everything else in my life ceased to matter and my primary focus had become: find a new job (any job).

Even though I had been offered a severance package large enough to send anyone else on the sabbatical of their dreams, I stuck to my guns and found a job (any job) within two weeks. I was safe. Whew.

The job didn’t end up being remotely close to what I wanted to do. Nor did it match my strengths or my personality either. But it did meet my biggest needs for safety and job security. It was the best I could do at the time.

It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it.

LIFE IN A NEW DIRECTION

I was laid off again a few years later. And this time the outcome was very different. I had evolved personally and professionally. My values had changed along with my perspective on life. I craved an external reality that reflected my inner world.

When I received the news of my redundancy, my gut reaction was no longer, “find a job, any job”. My priority had shifted from job security to lifelong fulfillment. I knew what it was like to live with the safety of a paycheck, and decided that it was worth risking for a life with more meaning. From there I made the decision to end my 10 year career, start a business and move thousands of miles away to Bali.

That was 5 years ago. And I can honestly say that it was worth it and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

Working from home in Bali

THERE IS NO ONE RIGHT WAY

During this pandemic, I’ve camped in bed for several days at a time. I’ve had breakfast for lunch, dessert for dinner and with mixed feelings - I binge-watched the Tiger King.

I’ve also gotten into gardening, launched my first online group coaching program and started writing again. And I’m proud to announce that I’ve officially become an adult by subscribing to The New York Times.

There is no one right way to get through a crisis. One cool thing that’s happening right now though, is that most of us have the opportunity to choose different approaches each day based on how we’re feeling:

We might find ourselves in panic-mode one day. And when this happens, finding a safe place and simply telling ourselves to just breath might be good enough.

One another day, we could be totally consumed by our fears. And the quickest solution might very well be: Netflix, ice cream and internet memes.

And maybe the day after, we conquer the world. We might have enough motivation to do all the things, learn all the skills and take our life in a new direction.

It’s not about what you do, it’s why you do it. And if you find yourself questioning if your actions are right or wrong, we can borrow this inquiry from our girl, Brene: 

“Are my choices comforting and nourishing my spirit, or are they temporary reprieves from vulnerability and difficult emotions ultimately diminishing my spirit?”